“I’ve spent many years looking for myself, only to find that I’ve always been here all along!!”

Strange statement I know but over the years I made my life so complex, adding layers and layers of:

• What’s wrong with me(s)?
• Who Am I(s)?
• Why don’t I feel happy with who I am(s)?
• Why can’t I find someone to Love me

I felt so much:  Anger
                            Resentment
                            Sadness
                            Pain                            Etc…etc…

And I aimed it all outside of myself, blaming other people for my unhappiness – usually parents, partner, when all along I hadn’t REALLY looked at myself and the part that I played in my life.  It did seem impossible to let go of all that c(bleep)p and allow myself to just BE, just breath, just relax and enjoy life as it is.

For the last 30 years, I’ve embarked on a journey to find the ‘inner Me’ amongst all the debris of my life, picking up bits and pieces, looking underneath and around all my rubbish that I have accumulated over so many years.  I have been a hoarder of ‘things’ all my life both within my mind, my body and within my environment.

Over this time I‘ve been training and experiencing various therapeutic fields, amongst them Gestalt Psychotherapy, Mediation (Neighbourhood, Family, Victim Offender), whilst also running a home (barely), bringing up my beautiful children (adults now) and all the time wondering who I am, in my confused world.

• Life Coaching is one of my ‘tools’ and basically it’s about supporting you to achieve realistic goals.  With someone behind you and believing in you, it’s amazing how much you can achieve.  I have an Advanced Diploma in Life Coaching

• The other ‘tool’ in my kit, is called ‘The Journey’ which is a therapeutic process that will help you look at the repeated patterns in your life that hold you back.   Based on changing negative cell memories stored in your body that make the possibilities of DIS-ease occur.  Therefore, when the body cells renew, instead of passing on negative memories they can just, be New.

Since the 90s I have worked in many different fields, mostly for Social Services (UK); with elderly people in day care and live-in care; running playschemes for young children and their families; play activities for children with muscular dystrophy; supervised contact between children and their parents/carers.  For many years I worked part-time with people who have learning difficulties and/or physical disabilities.  Through all these wonderful people I have learnt to grow up (emotionally, mentally I’m still 5!!).

During this time, alongside working and bringing up my family, I decided to disprove my belief that ‘I am ‘thick’’.  I left school with the bare minimum, Art (A level) and Human Biology (O) GCE.  I felt somewhat out of balance, my life was very much ‘right’ brained, very creative and nothing much else.  I thought that maybe if I looked more at ‘left’ brain activities (analytic etc) I might be able to stand up straight!   In my 40s, I started the Academic route and ended with a good Honours Degree, a 2.1 in Sociology, which I was surprised at and also very ‘chuffed’ with. 

Achieving this made me realize that we, ‘human beings’ are totally capable of anything, if we really want it.  That was when I decided that Life Coaching fit the bill because it is so positive and supports people in feeling good about themselves, so I trotted down to London, did my 35 case studies, wrote loads of stuff, got accredited and then felt that I still needed something more and just as I was thinking that…..

I came across the book called ‘The Journey’ by Brandon Bays who wrote about her suffering from a tumour the size of a football. Through this she developed a therapeutic process which works as I’ve said previously, by clearing (letting go of) the negative memories which have somehow become trapped in our very cells, the building blocks of our bodies.  Brandon firmly believes (and I am convinced too) that these cells holding ‘negative’ feelings, accumulated to create her tumour.  Whether it was benign or cancerous is not the point, I’m not sure that she actually found out because she had no operation and her very large tumour disappeared in 6 weeks.  Its not a case of remission.  There is NO trace of it and hasn’t been for many years, infact she’s healthier now than when she was much younger.  She completely healed herself without drugs or surgery. 

Using the same techniques that Brandon has developed, many people throughout the world have completely healed, be it from cancer or something that might seem minor in comparison, like acne, psoriasis, asthma.   This healing can only take place if we are prepared to allow ourselves to face our emotional past: our fear, anger, jealousy, rage, sadness, grief etc.  That which remains ‘trapped’ in the core of our being.  

Changing a lifetime of negative conditioning is not easy BUT the rewards are amazing; the feeling of release, even one little bit of the layers that cover the Fantastic person we truly are, is SO great.  As Brandon says, we – ‘Come Home to Ourselves’, the person we really ‘would have’ been had we not conditioned ourselves to ‘fit in’ with the world around us.  It may have been a case of ‘self-preservation’ that kept us from growing emotionally and caused our dis-ease.  This process is a way-out, to release the lock on that trap door (that we have made) to get out and really feel ALIVE.

The world we live in doesn’t make it EASY to feel Free.  You might say, “How can you enjoy life when its so s(****)y, well I didn’t say it was EASY.  It wasn’t easy to cope when my father died, getting divorced, being depressed, being in debt – all those things and more BUT how can we expect to live in a mess, year after year and for it to clear itself away – magically, without any effort…The trouble is we tend to think life should be…easy, I did, and in a sense, when we’re free of our rubbish, the potential for life to be ‘easy’ is really there, it is, I ‘know’ it is.  I’ve seen it.   When we’re clear, the effort-ing can stop.

In my experience, the biggest difference between this and other therapies and the hardest thing to do, in using this therapeutic process is, being able to ‘forgive’ - people, ourselves, situations – however horrendous it has been.   Never condoning what happened but forgiving the person behind the action (before they were conditioned into doing what they did) or the issue and  letting-go of the past, which is something we tend to ‘hold on’ to, often with understandable resentment, anger, fear etc.  

Looking at your patterns and facing them, facing your TRUTH, I really believe, can and will change that negative to positive.

I have trained with Brandon Bays and her Journey Team and am accredited as a Journey Practitioner.   For a deeper understanding of this process, read Brandon Bays’ book – ‘The Journey’ and see the website: www.thejourney.com

I’m not saying I’m totally free of my rubbish, I AM saying that I have found some very good tools to help me change.   I know the way to find ME and I’m doing it.  Your changes and your growth, depends totally on YOU, I’m the support mechanism.  If what I’m saying ‘clicks’ and feels right, then I may be able to help you too, it IS up to you, it’s your choice to change. 

I wish you, all that you would wish yourself in your Truth.
Warm Wishes - Lynne